Welcome to the new week. Today’s post is a series of pictures I found on twitter. I have found out we (in our 20s) place a lot of pressure on ourselves to to be rich and successful in our 20s that we sometimes forget that we can be rich and successful at ANY AGE.
Jesus Christ, my Lord and Saviour, used 30 years of his life to prepare for a 3 years ministry. Imagine the Saviour of the whole world being a carpenter. He is the greatest success story there is.
When I was 13, I dreamed of being a professor at 36. For me, that was the height of success, PROF FEHINTOLA OGUNYE. Now in my late 20s, my dream has changed and I’m pursuing my new dream with energy, enthusiasm and positivity. I’ve had major set backs that have made me doubt if I’ll succeed since I’ll say goodbye to my 20s and embrace my 30s very soon but I keep reminding myself that I still have many more years ahead of me to achieve greatness, become rich and successful.
Sharing is caring guys: What are your thoughts on being successful at any age? Do you/Did you feel pressure in your 20s to be successful and rich? Do you think it either now or never? Share your thoughts in the comments.You can also share quotes and bible verses that keep you positive.
When I cut my hair April, 2016, I began to read hair blogs and watch YouTube videos on how to care for natural hair. I found an article on the benefit of coconut oil and I knew I had to have it. Here in Western Nigeria, coconut oil is sold in the local market as ‘Idi agbon’. I used it at one point as a child but didn’t think much about its useful for my hair or skin. Guys, I think coconut oil and shea butter are the unappreciated skincare heros in Nigeria.
So I bought a 75 cl bottle of coconut oil (idi agbon) from the local market for two thousand naira (2k) and it didn’t smell like coconut. I wanted to buy the branded one but the price of branded coconut oil is scary guys. I saw a jar for 6k and I’m like in this Buhari government, hell to da no! So I decided I’ll make my very own coconut oil.
Coconut oil is a light oil and it’s wonderful because it penetrates the hair shaft. Your hair will soak it all up unlike some other oils that coat the hair. I find it very useful for hot oil treatment or as a deep conditioner. The first time I did the coconut oil hair mask (click to watch the video), my hair didn’t break on the comb, it stretched and stretched but it didn’t break and it also left my hair soft and shiny.
I also use the oil for my skin as you noticed in the DIY:Whipped Shea Butter post that I added coconut oil to the mix. I find it very light for the skin too. It moisturizes my skin. It doesn’t leave my skin greasy or make me feel very hot and uncomfortable after use. I also hear it’s good at preventing stretch marks (maybe why my skin isn’t covered in stretch marks). Plus during harmattan (dry season), it cared for my elbows, knees and feet
I have a friend, Toyosi, who uses coconut oil to cook. She tells me all the time that coconut oil is healthier than vegetable oil. If you use coconut oil to cook, please share in the comments.
So are you ready to make your own coconut oil? I made mine with just 500naira.
Things I used to make coconut oil
I used 4 coconuts. I bought 5 coconuts for five hundred naira but one was bad so I ended up using four
A blender
A sieve
A muslin cloth. I didn’t have this at home so I improvised and used a chiffon top
Bowls
A knife to cut the coconut flesh into to smaller pieces to blend
Let me show you how in steps
Step 1: I broke the coconut and extracted its flesh. I found out that if its mature coconut, the flesh easily comes off. I didn’t know that before I made coconut oil. Gosh all those years of struggling with the coconut, I have a scar on my little finger from one of such struggles
Step 2: I cut the coconut flesh into smaller pieces to blend. If you don’t have a blender, you can grate the coconut (I don’t envy you though, grating coconut flesh is hard work)
Step 3: I boiled water to use to blend the coconut flesh. So I read somewhere that warm water helps bring out more coconut milk from the coconut flesh
Step 4: I blend the coconut flesh. I did this more than once. I would blend then pour it in a sieve to separate the milk from the shaft. Put the shaft back in the blender and blend again to get more milk out. I did this twice so I got a lot of milk from the coconut flesh
Step 5: I then sieve the milk to remove any particles or shaft in it. I did this twice with the sieve and twice with the chiffon top (please if you have the muslin cloth, use it)
Sorry this picture isn’t so good
Step 6: I put the milk in the fridge overnight to solidify. After a while you will notice that the oil will separate from the water.
Step 7: Good morning guys. Go get your coconut milk out of the fridge. Now what I did was scoop the whitish oil part on the top off. Try not the stir it. Just scoop it off. That’s the part you need for Step 8 Step 8: I then put the whitish oil in a frying pan and left it till I saw the oil and then some golden brown particles in it. Once you see the golden brown particles, you’re done.
Step 9: I poured the oil out of the pan into a plate to cool and then use the chiffon top to sieve any particles.
Step 10: Then I transferred my coconut oil into a easy to use bottle and viola! c’est fini. I had my very own coconut oil.
I want to add that I didn’t get enough oil at first so I decided to boil the WHOLE coconut milk. I just poured everything in a pot and left it to boil. I kept checking it though. I used the same process in Step 8. So I got more oil eventually as you can see in the picture.
In all I spent 500naira to make my coconut oil and I’m sure of what is in it.
You can use this oil for your hair, skin and cooking your meals. I don’t suggest you use it to fry food because of the quantity you may need to fry and how coconut oil reacts in high temperature.
This coconut oil is different from virgin or cold pressed coconut oil. I’ll show you how to make that in another post.
Sharing is caring guys, share the post with your family and friends and let me and others know how you use coconut oil.
Yo yo yo!…Wadup..! (this is part of Jesse Pinkman’s voicemail message)
I’ve been watching ‘Breaking Bad’ all weekend. Finished Season 1 on Sunday, I can’t tell you what I think of it now because I’m still forming my opinion of the show and I want to do so regardless of it been ‘widely regarded as one of the greatest television series of all time’ – Wikipedia. I don’t think it got that after season one.
Hope you all had a fabulous weekend. Sorry I didn’t post last week. I was sick all through last week; I was in hospital for 2 days and home recuperating the rest of the week. But I’m much better now. Thank God.
I have been struggling with work for months now. I think people are sabotaging my efforts purposely and that makes me angry or sad and when I’m angry or sad, I cry and when I cry, I became bitter and internalize my pain or I lash out at people. And I think all the pain from struggling (plus malaria and typhoid) made me really sick last week. Plus an elderly friend of mine died the week before last week and his burial was last Friday, so you all can imagine how my whole week went.
But that was last week and staying at home has really helped bring my mind to perspective.
That
1. No one is PURPOSELY sabotaging my efforts. People are doing their own thing, working to feed themselves and their families. From now on, I’ll reach out to people whose input are important to my work and find out how to help them help me. Put people first and they would naturally do what you want.
2. I need to stop crying at work. It’s ridiculous and embarrassing! I don’t even hide the tears anymore. I’ll be talking and crying a river. While I embrace the fact that I’m an emotional person, I think it pointless if my emotions keep ruling me and leading me to tears at any single opposition or disagreement. To this end, I’ve dusted my copy of Joyce Meyer’s ‘Battlefield of the Mind’ to read this week. I dug it out of piles and piles of clothes over the weekend while cleaning my room. After I’m done with ‘Battlefield of the Mind’, I’m going to read ‘Managing your emotions’ also by Joyce Meyer.
3. I want to be remembered as someone who made people laugh a lot and did good not the ‘petty fat single gal who cried a lot’
new week, new read…with love😊
I’m determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition
– Martha Washington
Welcome to a new week guys.
Sharing is caring: what are your plans for the new week? Do you have any new week resolutions? Share with me in the comment section. Also you can share any quote or bible verses that keep you going/positive when you’re struggling with work or life or both.
p.s February is in 2 days…the highly anticipated month of love is almost here. And I’m still single. My God!
It is just one more day before the end of 2017. Just one more day before we are hugging each other and screaming ‘Happy New Year’. As always, I make goals for a new year, something I want to work towards and achieve in the new year.
My plan for 2017 was to create online content i.e. start a blog and post consistently on my blog and YouTube channel (If you haven’t subscribed to my channel, click here to do so. Thanks for the support) and I was able to achieve both. I started this blog on the First of January, 2017. Obviously, there’s room for improvement but I started and I’m so glad I did.
In 2017, I also started the Fehintola Ogunye Initiative Health and Career talk for Secondary School Girls to promote menstrual hygiene to girls in Secondary School and from low income families and also provide them with free access to sanitary pads. Starting the initiative was my response to the increase in price of sanitary pads/products in Nigeria and also to educate girls about how to care for themselves before, during and after their period. We also have the career talk to motivate the girls to stay in school and help with career choices. We had 2 programs this year, one at Community Grammar School, Mokola, Ibadan and Ikolaba High School, Agodi GRA, Ibadan. It was a huge success. I’m truly grateful to all the people and companies who donated and helped. Thank you.
I made new friends in 2017, most of them online. Met some in the city where I live, traveled to the city where they live but I still chat with some online, hoping to meet them some day soon. I’m really grateful for the friends I have made since I started creating online content. The internet isn’t a scary place as some people think, we still have good and sensible people on the internet and I’m glad they are my friends.
2018 is almost here. I keep asking myself if I’m ready for the new year and I can’t give an honest answer but as always I have made goals of 2018 on some of the things I want to achieve.
1. Be consistent in posting relevant and useful content online. Wakagirl (She’s a travel and food blogger. check out and subscribe to her YouTube channel) and I were chatting about how important posting relevant content consistently is in growing an audience online. Growing an audience translates into so many things: increase in readership, followers, engagement, views etc. It’s very easy to be inconsistent in writing or filming. Trust me, I know. I’ll be like lemme rest this week and before you know it, I ended up resting for an entire month. So we are holding each other accountable. We send each other messages almost every weekend to find out if we filmed a video or edited a video to post. I hope to post one video and two blog posts every week in 2018.
2. Take a leap of faith. I get scared a lot to make changes and sometimes I end up worrying myself before I make a decision. So in 2018, I want to take a leap of faith and believe that God will catch me. I don’t know what tomorrow holds for me but I believe God does and His plans for me are good. In 2018, I hope to do it afraid.
3. Travel. I want to travel somewhere outside Nigeria. For 2 years, my friend and I kept planning a road trip from Nigeria to Ghana but either I’m on leave when she’s at work or vice versa or we have the money but no time to go then we have the time but have spent the money, lol. I hope I make this trip in 2018. One week on the road with stops at the different countries on the route. You should check out Travel with a Pen for inspiration. Amarachi has done this more than once and has it documented on her blog. 4. Marriage. I know a lot of you are praying for me and I appreciate your love and prayers. I want to get married and it’s on the plan for 2018. I wrote about my thoughts on marriage and dating on the blog (Click here and here) and so I’ll continue in 2018. Maybe even start a series on getting Mr Right (let me know in the comments if this is something you want to read).
5. Eat healthy. The amount of junk and alcohol I have consumed this week ehn…I’m scared! Anyway I want to eat healthy in the new year. Like I would normally add weight loss and exercising to the mix but I never follow through, maybe I’ll jog for a month or three months and then I’ll stop and continue eating junk food. 2018 I want to eat healthy (maybe exercise). Importantly, I want to be healthy to enjoy my life. Nothing too stressful or deep. I like my plus size body.
6. JESUS. I want Jesus at the center of my life in 2018. I want to pray without ceasing in 2018, go to church, read my bible and devotional, trust Jesus with all that concerns me. I want to talk to Him more and hear from Him.
7. Work with brands and businesses. As a blogger, it’s one of our expectation to work with brands and businesses. I hope to seek, find and gain opportunity to do this in 2018.
8. Connect with my readers. You reading my blog and watching my videos means a lot, so do your comments and support. I would love to continue to connect with you all through my blog and social media (you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram) and I also hope to meet some of you in person too in 2018.
9. Fehintola Ogunye Initiative Health and Career Talk for Secondary School Girls. I will continue the work of the initiative in 2018, going to more schools to promote the importance of menstrual hygiene and distribute sanitary pads.
I think that’s about it. What are you plans for 2018? Remember to write them down and review them monthly, quarterly or half yearly to see if you are progressing. I hope to get a productivity journal and a blog planner to help keep me accountable and on the right track.
Source
This is my last post for 2017 guys. See you all in 2018. Happy New Year!!!
xoxo…Fehintola
If you want to say hi, for collaborations, sponsorship and/or reviews, please send an email to [email protected] or DM me on Twitter @fehintolaogunye and Instagram @fehintolaogunye
Today I’m here to share an easy and inexpensive DIY way to smooth and beautiful face. Is your face rough with lots of white ‘egusi’ like things on it? You should try this mask. All you need are items you’ll find in your kitchen.
I tried this beauty DIY (do it yourself) with my friend, Damilola, and it’s amazing and all we spent was 40naira and the results blew our mind.
Okay enough hype…lol
It’s the DIY (do it yourself) PEEL OFF FACE MASK
What you’ll need to try this face mask
One Egg (you need the egg white. You DON’T need the yolk)
Toilet paper or toilet roll or tissue paper
A brush
Let me take you step by step
Step one- Crack the egg and separate the egg white from the yolk
Step two- Cut the toilet roll or tissue paper into easy to use pieces. You can follow the lines on the toilet roll or tissue paper
Step three- Hold tissue paper to your face and with the brush, apply egg white to the tissue paper. Remember that you’re to hold the tissue to your face and apply the egg with to the tissue on your face
Step four- Wait for it to dry. It should take 20-30 minutes. Damilola and I chilled for 20 minutes.
Step five- Now it’s dry. Well done dear. You’re almost done. All you have to do now is peel off your face mask. Peel it off babe
Step six- Go wash your face. Dami rinsed her face with water and I wiped my face with baby wipes (because I was really feeling my eyebrows and I didn’t want to wash it off)
Step six- Enjoy your face feeling smooth like a new born baby’s butt.
twitter and instagram: fehintolaogunye
You see it’s easy.
Prepare yourself for the smell of the egg. The mask tickled my face but it didn’t tickle Dami. During application, avoid hair like your brows, hairline and side burn or else pulling it off is going to be a mother******
Want to watch a video of how it’s been done? Click here to watch. It’s a 5mins video
Sharing is caring guys: Share the post with your friends and family. Also let me know the results when you try it. If you want to say hi, for collaborations, sponsorship and/or reviews, please send an email to [email protected] or DM me on Twitter @fehintolaogunye and Instagram @fehintolaogunye
Welcome to a new week. Sorry I didn’t post yesterday. Power surge fried my laptop charger and phone charger over the weekend so I had to deal with that yesterday. It’s still not sorted but hopefully by the end of this week, I should get replacements.
This week’s words of encouragement are from a song. I remember the first time I listened to it on my brother’s phone, I must have been 16 or 17 years old and I fell in love with it.
The song is titled EVERYBODY’S FREE (TO WEAR SUNSCREEN) by Baz Luhrmann. It a spoken words song that gives very useful advice, things you should reflect upon.
You can click to listen to song or just read through the lyrics. I’m positive you’ll find the song inspiring.
Lyrics: EVERYBODY’S FREE (TO WEAR SUNSCREEN) by Baz Luhrmann
Ladies and Gentleman,
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh never mind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked…
You’re not as fat as you imagine!
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind.
The kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you.
Sing.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy;
Sometimes you’re ahead,
Sometimes You’re behind.
The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults;
If you Succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don’t Congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body, Use it every way you can… Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people Think of it,
It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own…
Dance… even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Brother and sister together we’ll make it through
Someday your spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you’ve been hurting, but I’ve been waiting to be there
For you.
And I’ll be there, just tell me now, whenever I can.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings;
They are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will Philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund, Maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you’re 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…
(Brother and sister together we’ll make it through
Someday your spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you’ve been hurting, but I’ve been waiting to be there
For you. And I’ll be there, just tell me now, whenever I can.
Everybody’s free).
Sharing is caring guys: Share in the comments what part of the lyrics inspired you or you agree with.
Welcome to a new week. Sorry I didn’t post yesterday. Power surge fried my laptop charger and phone charger over the weekend so I had to deal with that yesterday. It’s still not sorted but hopefully by the end of this week, I should get replacements.
This week’s words of encouragement are from a song. I remember the first time I listened to it on my brother’s phone, I must have been 16 or 17 years old and I fell in love with it.
It’s the harmattan (dry season) here in Nigeria and this weather isn’t playing. I think it’s drier this season than it was in 2016. I find myself consuming more water and still feeling thirsty. The fog and dust that comes with dry season is also here, super annoying!
Now this is the time our natural hair would suffer from dryness and breakage if we don’t take good care of it. I have seen images of huge balls of hair on Twitter and Instagram, that I think I should share with you my haircare routine in this dry season
1. Moisture Moisture Moisture
I think the first thing for me is moisturizing my hair. This is the time to ensure you moisturize your hair regularly. At first I got upset at how I’ll moisturize my hair in the morning and by evening it would be dry. But then I figured it is because the weather is very dry. So I moisturize morning and night (depending on how my hair feels). I do this consistently because this weather is too dry and my hair porosity is high.
2. LOC or LCO method
The LOC (Liquid, Oil, Cream) method or the LCO (Liquid, Cream, Oil) method helps add and retain moisture to your hair. The Liquid infuses the hair with moisture while the Oil and Cream help seal the moisture into your hair.
I use the LOC method. Currently, I use Water (I mixed a few drops of coconut, grapeseed and almond oil with the water), Castor oil and Cantu Leave in Conditioning Repair Cream. I would sometimes alternate the Cantu leave in cream with my DIY Whipped Shea Butter. The porosity of my hair is high so I find that this works for me. You can check out Kenny Olapade’s video on how she moisturizes her dry low porosity hair, click here to watch. And if you don’t know your hair porosity, read this post. It helped me figure out mine.
RELATED: How To Make Your Own Whipped Shea Butter
It helps the hair retain moisture as it doesn’t soak up the products you use on your hair. I use a satin pillowcase and satin scarf but I think it’s time I bought a satin bonnet as I’m not so good with the satin scarf (it keeps coming off). I was chatting with a friend and blogger Afropelo (check out her blog) about how she’s taking care of her natural hair this season and she wrote ‘deep conditioning every week’. Deep conditioning adds intense moisture to your natural hair. This is the season to do it religiously. Get yourself a good deep conditioner and ensure you deep condition your hair frequently. I’m currently using the Shea Moisture Yucca & Plantain Anti-Breakage Strengthening Masque.
This season is the season to Cowash more than using shampoo. Co-washing (short for Conditioner washing) is when you use ONLY a conditioner or a cowash product to wash your hair. Cowashing will gently lift off dirt and product buildup while also adding moisture to my hair. You can use just your conditioner to cowash your hair if you don’t have a cowash product. Please note that I shampoo my hair, I just cowash more than I shampoo. When I do shampoo my hair, I make sure I prepoo before I shampoo. I do the Coconut Oil Hair Mask or I prepoo with a mix of carrier and essential oils. It’s really good for the hair. You can read all about prepoo here.
I put my hair in a protective style. I’m currently rocking twists I made myself after taking out crotchet braids. This is not a time to flaunt your natural hair. It’s a time to keep them hidden. If you don’t want to do braid your hair with hair attachment or extensions because of the heat, then you can do low manipulation styles like twists, cornrows, bantu knots, roll tuck and pin, etc. The idea is not to manipulate your hair too much and to keep your ends hidden as they are the oldest part of your hair and most likely the easiest part to become dry, weak and break off. 8. Take care of your hair from within This means drinking water frequently. Eating healthy. I really am trying with this. It isn’t easy but I know that beautiful hair and skin starts from the inside out.
So my DAILY Hair Care Routine this season
Morning
1. Spritz my hair with water. I own a spray bottle. I mix water with coconut oil, grapeseed oil and almond oil. I shake the bottle and then spritz my hair. Don’t leave the water in the bottle too long. 2. I apply Castor oil to my hair. I have the Castor oil in my applicator bottle so I use it to apply the oil and then I massage it into my hair and also ensure the oil gets to my ends. Castor oil is a thick oil and a good sealant and emollient plus it helps facilitate hair growth.
3. I then apply either the Cantu Leave in Conditioning Repair Cream or my DIY Whipped Shea Butter to my hair
Night
Depending on how my hair feels, I may repeat the steps from Morning if my hair feels dry but if it feels okay then I just tie my satin scarf and go to bed on my satin pillowcase. If the scarf comes off, the pillowcase saves the night 😁.
Mid-week
If I’m not too tired after work, I will cowash my hair with a cowash product. I use the Cantu Shea Butter for Natural Hair Conditioning Cowash or As I Am Coconut CoWash Cleansing Conditioner or just a regular conditioner. Product I use depends on my mood or what my hand grabs first.
My WEEKLY or BI-WEEKLY Hair Routine this season
I carry a protective style for 2-3 weeks depending on the style. When I uninstall a protective style, I wash my hair with Shampoo and when I do, I make sure I do a Prepoo for 30-45mins with coconut oil or a mix of carrier and essential oils. For deep conditioning, I deep condition my hair before and after a protective style.
When I noticed how dry the weather was in December, 2017, I installed crotchet braids and had it on from 16th December, 2017 to 9th January 2018 i.e. roughly 3 weeks. I had done a Henna and Fenugreek Hair Mask on 9th December 2017 and then on the 16th December before I installed the braids, I followed up with a deep conditioner I mixed with honey. Honey is good at moisturizing and conditioning hair. When I uninstalled the crotchet braids on the 9th January, 2018, I deep conditioned my hair with the Shea Moisture Yucca & Plantain Anti-Breakage Strengthening Masque and then used Castor oil and Cantu Leave in Conditioning Repair Cream to put my hair in twists.
crotchet braids
two strand twists. I know it looks like a hot mess
but it’s my hair and I love it
It is important that you know what works for your hair. This post is to serve as a guide for you and help you figure out what you can do to help prevent your hair from breakage this dry season.
How are you taking care of your hair this dry season? Share with me and other readers in the comments?
I hope my routine helps you. If you have any questions, please leave them in the comments and I’ll answer them as best as I can. xoxo…Fehintola If you want to say hi, for collaborations, sponsorship and/or reviews, please send an email to [email protected] or DM me on Twitter @fehintolaogunye and Instagram @fehintolaogunye
“Entreat me not to leave you, or turn back from following after you, For wherever you go, I will go, and wherever you lodge, I will lodge, Your people shall be my people and your God, my God, Where you die, I will die, And there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts you and me1“
I want to get married. It’s a dream I have had since I was a little girl playing ‘mommy and daddy’ with my cousins, pretending to cook delicious meals with sand and flowers in my father’s compound.
Recently, I was rejected by a man and it hit me really bad. Like bad bad!!! I wasn’t expecting it to happen. This man said he liked me one minute and the next minute, he said he likes someone else more
than he did me; and as simple as that sounds, it hurt. I wondered how he went from asking me to let my guard down and trust him to telling me he chose another girl over me. My mind was blown.
I’m not going to try to sound tough or hard or strong. I’m an emotional person so rejection hits me pretty hard. I think it hits everyone hard but we overcome rejection differently. I went through the 5 stages of grief and when acceptance would come, it came with the realisation that he wasn’t my person. If he was mine, he would have chosen me and not another girl.
So many beautiful love stories in the Bible of how men choose their women and ‘wifed’ them, better still how God choose their women for them and they (the men) were fast to wife them. I love the story of Ruth and Boaz so much. At this time, I love this story because of Naomi; she’s a really strong and wise woman. She lost her husband and sons. She thought God had rejected her ‘…for it grieves me very much for your sakes that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me2‘. She asked the women to call her Mara instead of Naomi ‘… for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went out full, and the Lord has brought me home again empty. Why do you call me Naomi, since the Lord has testified against me, and the Almighty has afflicted me?3‘ but through her wisdom and Ruth’s faithfulness, she was able to smile again ‘Then the women said to Naomi, “Blessed be the Lord, who has not left you this day without a close relative; and may his name be famous in Israel! And may he be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age; for your daughter-in-law, who is better to you than seven sons, has borne him.” Then Naomi took the child and laid him on her bosom, and became a nurse to him4‘. When I think of all my failed relationships, the story of Naomi and Ruth keeps and warms my heart. Ruth told Naomi “Entreat me not to leave you, or turn back from following after you, For wherever you go, I will go, and wherever you lodge, I will lodge, Your people shall be my people and your God, my God, Where you die, I will die, And there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts you and me5” Sweet words!!!
I want a man who will chose me, who will see through the walls, defence mechanism, weirdness/goofiness, body size/shape, age, career, etc and be like ‘Fehintola, wherever you go, I will go and wherever you lodge, I will lodge…’ Okay maybe not in the exact words Ruth used to Naomi but you get my point. I don’t want to be anyone’s second choice or afterthought. When Adam saw Eve, everything clicked. He just knew who had been missing in the garden all along, he said “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man6“ Sweet words, people!!!
I know I’m using a lot of bible reference and I’m not sorry. I find the word of God to be a balm that heals my hurt and helps me overcome rejection; they are the words that run through my mind when I’m sitting on the floor, crying my heart out and wondering what I did wrong for that man I liked so much to leave me. They are the words that help me stand up and look at myself in the mirror and smile. They are the words that help me face each day knowing that His love for me is unconditional and he will never leave me nor forsake me.
‘Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.’7
‘For I know the plans I have for you’ says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope’8
When I meet my person, all the tears, sleepless nights, loss of appetite, feelings of loneliness and rejection won’t matter, they will fade away into nothingness, They will drown under the weight of our love and joy. Like the women rejoicing with Naomi, I’m sure my sisters will rejoice with me, lol.
‘To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.’9
I hope you enjoyed reading today’s post. This is something I needed to get off my chest and I feel writing has helped and I hope this post helps you with whatever you are dealing with. I would love to read your thoughts in the comments on how you deal and/or overcome rejection.
If you want to say hi, for collaborations, sponsorship and/or reviews, please send an email to [email protected] or DM me on Twitter @fehintolaogunye and Instagram @fehintolaogunye
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.
Welcome to a new week. I want to encourage you this new week with a bible verse that was shared in church on the 31st December, 2016 during Crossover Service.
Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near
– Hebrews 10: 23-25 NLT
This verse hit me like a rock and reignited my hope in God. I hope this blog encourages you and motivates you towards acts of love and good works. Remember that whatever you pray and hope for this new year ‘…God can be trusted to keep his promise’
Sharing is caring: Please share (in the comment section) bible verses and/or quotes that keep you going
Step 2: I cut the coconut flesh into smaller pieces to blend. If you don’t have a blender, you can grate the coconut (I don’t envy you though, grating coconut flesh is hard work) 
Eyin temi,
Starting the initiative was my response to the increase in price of sanitary pads/products in Nigeria and also to educate girls about how to care for themselves before, during and after their period. We also have the career talk to motivate the girls to stay in school and help with career choices. We had 2 programs this year, one at Community Grammar School, Mokola, Ibadan and Ikolaba High School, Agodi GRA, Ibadan. It was a huge success. I’m truly grateful to all the people and companies who donated and helped. Thank you.
1. Spritz my hair with water. I own a spray bottle. I mix water with coconut oil, grapeseed oil and almond oil. I shake the bottle and then spritz my hair. Don’t leave the water in the bottle too long. 2. I apply Castor oil to my hair. I have the Castor oil in my applicator bottle so I use it to apply the oil and then I massage it into my hair and also ensure the oil gets to my ends. Castor oil is a thick oil and a good sealant and emollient plus it helps facilitate hair growth. 
